


Scattered Lights

by 117_Nectar



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Blood, Blood and Injury, Dom/sub Undertones, Implied/Referenced Stockholm Syndrome, M/M, Mental Instability, Mirrors, Unhealthy Relationships, dark?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:27:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29954757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/117_Nectar/pseuds/117_Nectar
Summary: The only thing Taeyong needed in his life was Jaehyun.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	Scattered Lights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starhoneyy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starhoneyy/gifts).



> How do I tag something like this :D  
> For starhoneyy because I like her works a lot
> 
> Anyways, this is a work of FICTION and should be treated as such.

The glass that lay around his feet was shattered and sharp, fragmenting into smaller pieces no matter how desperately Taeyong tried to fit them back together. It was a reflection of his own mind, in a way.

Blood stained the crystal shards a delicate shade of pink and grew into a rich wine-like red when the drops collected to gather into a puddle on the floor, infusing the sharp tang of iron into the polished floorboards.

It was the same blood that had been running through his veins before Taeyong had carelessly spilled it all over the floor. But that didn’t matter, his body would just make more blood with time, never running out despite Taeyong sometimes wishing that it would, if only to put an end to the endless noise he suffered. The pain that came with the cuts was irrelevant, the only thing that was important to him now was fixing the mirror before Jaehyun came home and saw what a terrible mess he had made.

Any shards he had managed to gather while grappling at the ground all ultimately slipped out of his grasp again and tore into his skin before falling down.

He knew he was only hurting himself, but he didn’t stop. He _couldn’t_ stop, and he wouldn’t stop even if he could. Jaehyun had liked that mirror, he also liked having a clean home, and Taeyong had destroyed both.

The noise rose to crescendo pitch and Taeyong couldn’t tell if it was coming from the inside or outside of his head anymore. He slammed both hands against the ground and screamed when dozens of pointed shards brutally implanted themselves in his palms. The sharp pain that shot up his arms only served as a brief reprieve, as the noise in his head soon became louder, demanding attention over the physical pain. He was harshly derided for ever attempting to drown it out in the first place. If he had learnt anything at all in the last five years, it was that any attempt to resist and fight back was futile.

Taeyong clenched his fists, not caring about the shards that just embedded themselves deeper into his skin. He caught his reflection on one of the few fragments that still functioned as a mirror. His reflection was warped and severed into several different pieces, but even then, anyone could recognise the crazed look in his eyes. The crazed look had appeared when he had first met Jaehyun five years ago, and it had never left, instead retreating to the darkest depths of his mind and waiting for moments like this where it would strike and take front and centre over everything Taeyong did.

The sharp tone of the door opening broke through the static buzz in his head and all of his attention immediately focused on the person who walked through it.

“Oh baby,” Jaehyun laughed as he walked into their shared apartment, but there was nothing friendly about it, “What a _mess_.”

Jaehyun stalked closer, and Taeyong stayed rooted in place, unable to speak, unable to move, unable to lash out, unable to do _anything_.

“Did you hurt yourself?” he asked, mock concern laced his voice and thinly veiled the pure, unadulterated malice he spoke with. There was something else hidden in his voice too, something akin to amusement and lust. And, buried even deeper beneath that, there was _love_ , in its most twisted and darkest form, or maybe Taeyong was simply delusional and it was purely the desire to own and completely control.

Taeyong hated how he shivered in anticipation, hated how the noise in his head would always quieten down to a gentle hum whenever he heard his voice. And above all else, he hated how, despite _everything,_ he would always instinctively feel safer whenever Jaehyun was around.

Jaehyun approached him as if he was a terrified, wounded animal, slowly and with no sudden movements. It was ironic really, because Jaehyun was the one at fault for making him like this to begin with.

Jaehyun’s boots—the same pair that Taeyong had gifted him for their first anniversary, four years ago—crushed the fragments of glass into dust underfoot as Jaehyun came closer until he was standing right above Taeyong, and Taeyong had to crane his neck up to meet his eyes.

Jaehyun’s face was perfectly blank, and the eyes he had were empty, but even then, Taeyong still saw the tiny traces of the man who he had fallen in love with five years ago, those traces were the only things he was able to hold on to, the only things that stopped him from plunging into complete insanity.

With trembling hands, Taeyong reached out and tugged at the hem of Jaehyun’s pants, it was a silent plea. He wanted to be held, he wanted to know that they would be alright, he wanted _something_ , anything at all.

Jaehyun bent down and harshly grabbed Taeyong’s cheeks with one hand, effectively immobilising him, there was no affection in his gaze. But even if Taeyong could have moved, he wouldn’t have looked away, he could never look away. Not from him.

“I left you alone for one day and you made a mess like this, you’re just like a helpless child,” Jaehyun drawled and Taeyong felt tears threaten to spill when he realised how disappointed Jaehyun sounded. He had made Jaehyun disappointed in him, and that knowledge hurt more than any physical wound ever could.

“Do I have to tie you up while I’m at work, so you can’t cause anymore trouble?” It was worded like a question, but it was a threat. Taeyong choked back a sob and made to shake his head, even though the harsh grip Jaehyun had on his cheeks caused him pain when he tried to move. There was a dangerous undertone in his voice and Taeyong knew without a shadow of doubt that Jaehyun was being dead serious.

“Shh,” Jaehyun shushed, scratching his nails through his scalp, pulling on his hair in a way that pained him yet left him starved for _more_. “I know you wouldn’t want that, so _behave_ , won’t you, bubu?”

Taeyong tried to nod, but the hold Jaehyun had on his face proved that to be difficult. He frantically tried to convey through his eyes that _yes,_ he would obey, he would behave, he would do anything asked of him.

Something must have gotten through, or Jaehyun may have just decided to have a little mercy on him, because soon Jaehyun was holding his hands in his, turning them over and examining the myriad of cuts and blood that patterned his palms. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, “Bubu, you know you’re not allowed to hurt yourself like this.”

Taeyong knew. Taeyong knew that all too well. He knew that the only person allowed to hurt him was Jaehyun himself.

“Come.” It was an order.

That single word had Taeyong scrambling to his feet and chasing after Jaehyun who was swiftly making his way to the bathroom.

Jaehyun manhandled him onto the sink and forced Taeyong to stay still as he dug into each cut with a pair of tweezers, searching for any glass that might still be caught in his skin. Taeyong bit his lips to keep from screaming when Jaehyun grabbed his hands and submerged them in a shallow bowl filled with alcohol. The alcohol burnt as it disinfected and no matter how much Taeyong twisted and thrashed, Jaehyun kept a firm grip on his hands at all times, even as the blood washed off and started to dye the alcohol in the bowl red.

This was his punishment, he realised, for making a mess, for harming himself, and for acting like a child. It was only when Taeyong accepted that and stopped struggling did Jaehyun finally release his wrists.

Jaehyun wrapped the bandages around his hands in a way that was almost lovingly tender, a stark juxtaposition to everything else.

“I expect the mess to be cleaned by tonight,” Jaehyun didn’t spare him another glance as he left the room and Taeyong was left alone to stare at the white bandages that had been expertly wrapped with such care.

  
  
  


Later that night, after Taeyong had finished disposing of the remainder of the glass, Jaehyun beckoned him over to where he was lounging on the couch.

He knelt in front of the couch and Jaehyun allowed him to use his lap as a pillow. Taeyong let his eyes fall shut and felt his body unconsciously relax as a hand started petting his hair. He stayed perfectly still, Jaehyun seemed like he was in a good mood and he didn’t know what would happen if he did anything to ruin it.

Taeyong was almost drifting off when he was jolted upright by something cold fastening around his neck with a sharp _click_.

_A dog collar,_ Taeyong realised when he lifted his bandaged hands up to inspect it. It even had a loop for a leash to clip on to.

“Do you like it?” Jaehyun asked and Taeyong knew what he had to answer with.

“I love it.”

“Good,” Jaehyun practically purred. Taeyong could feel the satisfaction rolling off that one word like a wave. His head was guided to rest in Jaehyun’s lap again and the noises in his head buzzed with satisfaction. He was content to stay like this forever.

This was where he belonged. Kneeling by Jaehyun’s side was his one and only true place in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> [CC](https://curiouscat.qa/117_Nectar) | Twitter: [@117Nectar](https://twitter.com/117Nectar)


End file.
